10 Questions to Ask Yourself at the Start of a New Year

Tthe last of 2024 is in the rearview mirror. But before you forget it ever existed, think about all the good and bad and weird and inspiring things that happened to you in the last 12 months.

“When we stop and sit and look back at where we’ve been, and how we felt when we were there, it can serve as a blueprint for where we want to go next,” says Caroline Fenkel, clinical director of the virtual. mental health platform Charlie Health. By asking a series of survey questions, you will become more aware and understand how to make changes that can increase your happiness and well-being in the new year. Think of it as a “gentle inventory, rather than a high-value self-assessment,” he adds.

Where to start? Ask yourself who and what strengthens or drains you. These insights can help you better manage your energy. Fenkel likes to make a regular inventory of what adds a net positive to her life, for example, like taking care of the ducks in her pond, and what registers as a net negative, like spending too much time on social media. If something makes you particularly happy, “do it again and again,” she says. (More duck feed for Fenkel in 2025.)

We asked the experts to share what we should be asking for at the start of 2025 to make it our best year yet.

1. What brought me real joy last year? And what took it?

Take a moment to reflect on what made you happiest in the past year, and don’t think about it. Whatever comes to mind was a “peak experience,” says Lauren Farina, a psychotherapist in Chicago. “It reveals our truest, most authentic desires, beyond what we’ve been conditioned to believe we should do or what we should do.”

Once you’ve landed in your happiest moments, brainstorm practical ways to integrate more of these experiences into your daily life in 2025. Maybe you’ve taken a trip to Sedona and been flooded with the kind of fear that doesn’t you didn’t feel since you were a child. You probably can’t visit every weekend, but you can commit to other ways to spend more time in nature where you live, suggests Farina.

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It is equally important to reflect on what has robbed you of your energy or diminished your spirit in the past year. What kind of boundaries can you set to limit those stressful experiences? What can you leave or delegate to someone else? “Our feelings are messengers, and our job is to decipher those,” says Farina—and to make smart changes accordingly.

2. Which relationship felt nourishing, and which was draining me?

Your relationships with other people are core to your happiness, Fenkel points out. Some feed you, while others sap all your energy. Take some time to figure out who falls into which category. So, make a point of prioritizing the connections that energize you, while taking a step back from those that deplete you. “Detach with love,” she advises. “You have to protect yourself, and that’s okay.”

That doesn’t necessarily mean cutting the draining person out of your life; rather, you could create boundaries around how much time you spend together, or communicate clear expectations for interaction.

3. How well has my time been balanced between work, family time, social commitments and rest?

Looking back, you may realize that you put too much weight on one of these areas at the expense of others. If work has dominated your 2024, think how you can protect more of your personal time; or, if you didn’t appear as professional as you hoped, think about how to move into a new gear. “It’s so hard to live a balanced life, but the only way to have that balance is if you stop and think about it,” says Fenkel.

She suggests getting into the habit of doing this kind of quarterly check-in: “OK, here’s the number of days I left work last quarter and didn’t check my Slack or my email.” Having that kind of hard data at hand will help you free up time for what’s most important to you, he says.

4. What should I not say? What would I like to say yes to?

If you need to know a certain two-letter word better in 2025, start by examining the barriers that prevent you from saying no. You might worry, for example, that you’re going to let people down, that you won’t be loved anymore, or that your friends will be mad at you, says Gabrielle Morse, a licensed mental health counselor in New York City. “Whether it’s physical discomfort or resentment, there are all kinds of things that come emotionally from putting our needs last,” he says. Eventually, your bitterness about prioritizing other people will blow over, destroying your relationships and happiness.

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On the other hand, maybe you need to say Yes more, especially to things that you feel like you have deprioritized because of other obligations. Many people stifle their own desires, as they rely on creative research, to welcome others, Morse points out. “This is an invitation to ask yourself what you want,” says Morse. “It could end up being meaningful and fulfilling.”

5. What positive qualities do I notice in myself in 2024?

When people reflect on their year, achievements often come to mind, such as being promoted at work. “They boil down to this one thing, and they’re so much more than that,” says Morse. “What is much more important are the qualities they can see in themselves.”

She suggests thinking about ways you’ve grown or demonstrated strength and resilience — or being true to your authentic self. Perhaps you have made progress in breaking old patterns, such as liking people, Morse point, or establishing new boundaries with the family. Perhaps you persevered through a challenging health diagnosis or other hardship that could have brought you down. Celebrate these victories – they will help ensure that the year ahead is your best yet.

6. What are you most proud of and thankful for in the past year?

Most people are conditioned to focus on what is going wrong. (Fire doesn’t go out, after all.) Give yourself a break and instead reflect on something positive, says Farina, like what you’re particularly proud of or grateful for. “This can change our perspective to filter in more of what’s good, and more of what brings us joy,” he says. “It’s a way of seeing our subconscious with a new belief system” – and that will serve you well throughout the new year.

7. How can I make peace with the problems of the past year?

This is one of Farina’s favorite ways to turn challenges into opportunities. “Problems or crises are invitations or opportunities to evolve,” he says. You may realize, for example, that to come to terms with your stressful job, you need to practice the mind; or, to improve your relationship with your mother-in-law, you need to work on becoming a better communicator.

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Maybe something life-changing happened to you in 2024, and you need to adopt a new mindset or communication strategy to cope. “In a crisis or loss or trauma is an opportunity for you to grow,” says Farina.

8. My goals are specific and achievable?

Targeted goals can keep you on track, but vague ones can derail you. If you want to get in shape, for example, it’s better to commit to working out for 30 minutes every morning than just planning to “exercise more” or burn yourself out with three-hour gym sessions.

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“You want something that’s very specific and that you can actually do,” says Dr. Ashley Zucker, a psychiatrist at Kaiser Permanente Southern California. “It might seem like it’s not a high enough goal, but it’s a good place to start. You can always add to it later.”

Likewise, try not to exaggerate the number of goals you’re working on at any given time; one or two is ideal, says Zucker. Otherwise, there’s a good chance you’ll be overwhelmed and spend more time stressing than achieving.

9. Am I good to myself?

No matter how your year goes, you’re going to have bad days. Be honest: are you graceful enough when you hit these road rocks? One of Zucker’s favorite questions to ask herself is, “What would I say if my daughter were in this situation?” “Play that in your head,” she says, talking to yourself as you would your loved one. And remember: “There is always tomorrow, and there is always after today.” Give yourself that second, third, fourth and fifth chance.”

10. What would I do in 2025 if I wasn’t afraid?

Reflecting on what you would do if you were not consumed with worry can help you expose the ways that fear plays a role in your daily life. “It’s not that we should never make decisions out of fear,” Farina adds. “But we should at least pause before we default to a choice based on fear.” By considering the ways that fear is holding you back, you can take a leap of faith in 2025 that changes the course of your year for the better.